Live now. Lets .. =)

Every post i wrote when i woke up in the spontaneity, has been an experience,
every dream i lived, seen and felt.
But dreams are Visions, the paradox of ourselves in a parallel thought,
and some, are as real as the senses. Blues,
in the wakeful.
Exaggerated experiences heightened by memories and the bundled emotions.
Today i felt 'em build up.
Breakin me.
Life bein drained by the moment.
It feels worse than someone squeeze out your soul.
The torment, a breathless drowning,
a Quick calculation to swerve the crash,
free falling..
flash of a Loved one,
thought of one thing you missed to do,
last words. a Prayer.
a blackhole that sucks you in..
Helplessness. The inevitable.
p'haps a smile to balance.. the good.
before you know. before you think.
its over.
reality. life. thought. dream. experience.
Dead end. and knowing it IS.
is so bad. and so sad..
there is Nothing contentful abt passin away.

I Felt a Part of me leave.
Out of Body Experiences. and they're so revealing abt Life.
its NOT, and nothing, that you can predict, want or plan.
so Fluid. and yet so Precious. to you and only YOU.
No one wud ever know wut it felt like.
its like a whole life spent bein a person. and all it comes to, is this.
when you know its a dead end.. and therz nuthin you can do.


It took me much. some tom and jerry,
warm shower. clear sky. a jolly drink.
some music, writing this post,
to know and awaken my senses that,
i still can feel.... Belong. somewhere.

Life seems so fragile all of a sudden. and the bonds, precious.
people we meet. deeds done. Pictures taken. smiles. tears. occasions. Life.
every moment seems a canvas blanc..

Life is Beautiful.
and we're neither Livin the moment again,
nor the opportunity to re-live.
Live now.
Lets ..
=)

We're made of Brush strokes

sometimes i wonder why relations get complicated.
is it cuz of the differences in thought, our personlalities,
the hardwired beliefs we're rooted to,
or is it because of the person we are all individually made of.
how many people can we connect with in our life.
and how many of those do we choose to cherish.

Every person is undeniably made of good an bad.
the conflict of God an his Villian is IN us.
do we fear the God and accept the qualities that are conventionally classified as morally just,
or do we fear and repel the shades of darkness that people have come to hate.
bottom line is we all have our pros an cons. each an everyone.
the efforts we put in to be Aware of who we really are,
the operating system we run on, bugs, crashes and Inborn boot errors.
To feel complete.
we have no answers.
we live in fear of mistakes and Karma.
we seek acknowledgement and acceptance.
To ourselves and the ones we're connected to.
These brush strokes make us. Our traits.
they make everyone around us, whom we adorn with privilege of Love and giving.
as and by the Color of a person shifts a shade from Bright to Dark.

Life's an intricate painting, and it always is in the whole frame.
neither in the beautiful highlights of bright pros,
nor the emphasizin, shaded, dark, cons.
In a kids crayon scrawl, or da vinci.
In the end its us who define wut we are to Others
and who others are to Us.
the beauty and essence of a person
lies in the whole Picture.

Livin the Split

Everyday
Every moment.
we wake to the new
the unknown,
no matter wut we know.
wut we do.
it neither follows the Vector of Effort
nor preceeds the Expected.
Space.

Its like pushin your ability
in that jump to reach the ledge.
you Fly.
reach an Try.
so close you touch.
but ...
where does your mind take you.
that you came so close.
or that you missed.
Split.

life's always a Choice.
it dont matter wut happened or the next.
the Choice is still for us to make.

In This Emptiness

Life seems distant now
wut hapnd, i wonder how
everyday in seconds i Live
with nuthin left in me to give
what remains o me
dont know, cant see
this pain, this misery hurts much
cant explain. cant take.
how do i endure such.
my thots echo in the hollows
excrutiating wrench that follows
feeling the numb i sink
in every split o the blink

where art thou i ask
to find you behind the mask
But, yer here within me
this i close my eyes to see
in this emptiness.

Love thee..

To be in thy embrace of care
when i feel weak
to feel thy support
wen i hold thee
to forget Pain forever
cuz i know thou cure
to forget the burden
cuz thee wud share
to move ahead an better
in thine motivation
not know wut need is
for ye complete me
to learn life and its meaning
in thine guidance
to forget myself
for thee know me
to Love a lifetime.
with thee, Beloved,
I'm in Love..

image courtesy : Mikej. thank you.

The Architect

I've walked through many a city. the tattered jacket i wear tells me. i carry no guns but a box with pencils and measuring tools. I've been runnin from present and the future. a Nomad. My job was to help people build shelters with resources they could afford. safe houses. thats what they called them. Safe from the Hell.. the burning earth herself.

There have been so many. so many an incident covered in Ash and destruction. the forces were against us survivors. Darwin wud be proud. the humans were considered the most successful beings in Evolution. survival of the fittest. I am jus a facilitator. Just an Architect.

My M.O. was simple and fast. Get a trench underground or a leftout sewage core or a dam and fortify with lead and steel lined mortar. provide Air and water recycling systems and Storage. For this i'd be given food and place to stay till my work was done. wen i am done. I'd be gone.

So much they speak abt the forces and wut they've done to us all. They were a nightmare of a story to listen to. There were very few who've seen the wrath and survived. and they Spoke of it as Hell chasing their life.

This time. I've been working inside an abandoned Mine. it was trecherous to get the generators runnin. we went old skool and took the concepts of the Oldest trains. Used coal to power up. these folk have been helpful by the smallest deed and involvement. It was their only hope. Everyday I worked my life out. It was not easy. We were in the Gut of a Hill. Being an Architect I had studied civilizations and cult work. The Free Masons, their concept was to make a way in and to make another way out. Prevention of cave in scenarios. Heck Even Pyramids have them. feels like an Irony. Everythin had a Glory to it. and we, are barely Alive.

The Safe House is almost done. and i cant wipe out this vibe off my head. it was a Dead End. somethin abt this place meant forever. like it was my destination. And this time, i know the time has come. My Intuition has been tingling like the spider sense. I regroup the pack, have every morsel and drop, of food and water, possible seeds for plantations saved. routine. Let them speak of Love for eachother. and the night spent in Joy, music and a few drinks. we share affection of workin together.

It was Close to dawn. I see children snuggled close in deep sleep, their innocence glowing warm. Everyone had this sense of being safe. For all the nightmares of Stories that were spoken of seeing Hell. I knew it was My time. I Leave the place, securing every hatch, every door. a long walk out scoping out the random vents, i reach out. it was cold. and it was close to the hilltop. i drag my boots up there and light a smoke. looking in the horizon to watch the sunrise. the sky starts to glow.

Thats when i See. a Ray. a trajectory burnin its way through the sky. When it hit the ground. it was like a quake. I take a deep drag and smile. the fire ball across glows the deepest red an turns into a mushroom cloud. from here i see every tree and inch o land burn. and i see it tear thru everythin between. the Hell. which i wud see .. this Nuke..



I jus wake up..

Feed Some Cute Fishies =)

I've always found a school o Fish to be most playful..
so much so watchin them play wud make me forget the issues bothering me.
Feng-shui places them o high regard as in takin away the negative energies even.

Anyway. after quite some contemplation, i've decided to pimp this blog a bit.
an if ya'll comin here to spend a few mins to read these posts.
plz , Do feed my fish.

you'll find dem upon scrollin down to the bottom of this page ..
have Fun.