PAUSE

Amidst living the lines that run straight, with no end

Ever evolving, every day and moment,

i find it hard to see 

What is it, that exists to my side.

Beside me.

Because, they too, things and them,

Have their own lines,

That Bind them,

That Blind them,

Just like me.

What happens when I see something Beautiful.

Can I stop, I can’t 

should I want, I shouldn’t.

for its always the same story

Looking straight 

I get it, I understand, 

Life moves,

I can’t ask for a stall,

That will only lead to a break down

I can’t ask for stop

That will only die and wither

But,

Can I ask for a pause.

To share that pause with me,

Choose it.

Because deep down I ask

And I ask it, with So much want.

That I want it.

I need it,

I need it to be a part of my way.

Hoping that these pauses make time

And that time completes me.

I’m Lost.

I can’t remember.

People. Moments

Fragments in time.

Memories. 

Which I will probably never go back to.

Life needs to be more than this

I’m 

SO

DISCONNECTED.

I’ve loved. 

I’ve cared.

Done what I thought would be a best outcome

But it was all wrong.

I was wrong.

It just would never, be.

Reality.

time.

life.

Move 

So fast.

Wants change.

Moves space. Creates space.

What is, will not be, in a moment.

No room to cherish.

No roots to connect.

We are all just living.

When I sleep.

I Dream.

And wen I wake up

I feel more connected to the Dreams.

Than I did with my past.

Is it worth it ?

The burden of questions.

The Questions of Existence.

The Existence called life.

how I can end this with. 

There are no statements, Questions, 

everything is as is. 

Rest. Imaginary. A thought. 

A moment spent. Lost

Disconnected. 

I Love Petrichor.

Its the Rains. And the parched soil.

dont they run in straight lines too ?

raindrops. life

aah.

I love it. 

Amidst living in the lines that run straight

It soothes me.

What completes you. ?

Life. is so huge. So much to live, So much to do, Know, Understand.
Ever since we are born, we have milestones, of growth, standards that asses us to be compatible to the world we need to accommodate ourselves in. We have schools, subjects taught to us, to be profound at something we imbibe, that would later create a sole identity for us .
We meet people to learn from, paving us a path of influence. we achieve at various a level to carve our own destiny, we make our life unique as a choice we made, to survive.

Where do we stand.
when do we know we have satiated growth. Never ?
When we start feeling age take over ? skin wrinkling, mind numbing, choosing solitude over rave parties. lounging over thoughts than chasing the randomness around us.
When we hit the rock bottom ? or the high of life.
Money.
Materialistic wants.
Power.
Achievement.
Love, companionship, making life out of passion.
Content in orgasmic scale.
Feeling the lowest and highest notes of music.
Finding a higher consciousness.

???!!

The deal is..
we have to Understand the beginning to understand how it ends all.
that we are all products of creation amidst utter chaos.
Death might complete us, in a notion.
The last chapter, but that wont be the END. Its never complete. What abt the legends that passed away. They remain as history. A story. And they will be forever.
There is no end.
Friends are remembered.
Family is revered.
Love eternal,
and
memories cherished.

I Looked to find 'my' last chapter, hoping there would never be an epilogue. A memory. An ending that would complete me. i tried to find what completes me. In Everything. Every single notch among millions, on a golf ball of life. A bite of cheese in each slice of a pizza
Like chasing mirages on every dune of sand on a desert vast,
making my own perceptional compliments of my predicaments,
just as such.. finding none.
Diluted in mistakes, hurt, guilt and every possible shade of grey in a rainbow of emotions, I held on to hope. Held on close. Wishing for forgiveness. Wishing for redemption and penance.
Strength to have a soul. To contain myself.
Anyone would survive. I wanted to sustain.
Right my wrong. Make amends and learn.
All that mattered to me was eventuality, the continuity of life with a pinch of better and a slice of smile.
A smile that i could share.
But.
Ma bro once said, Long before I knew or cud comprehend what were, the biggest flaws in life were 'if' and 'but' ..
Makes sense now.
Possibilities.
One cant imagine how much, we live in possibilities.
They don't complete us.
Because we are human, and to accept that, is of a level of understanding and comprehension beyond.

To feel complete is a Choice.
Everyday, every moment. Its right there with us. To accept what makes us. We are so blind to it. I am so blind to it, that though i had every single moment, possibility and chance, I chose different.
Its not the regret that bothers me. its what has become of that moment.

We as humans evolve, and that is our biggest strength and flaw.
Constantly, at a pace our own life defines, we evolve.
Expecting a feeling of completion stays with us in every moment as a choice.
The feeling of emptiness may pertain to a past tense of remnants we churn in thought, so strong, that we all eventually fail to accept the inevitable.
The Present.
What we have. Acceptance of the perimeter of circle around us.
THAT is what completes us.



Image Courtesy : fractal_circle_by_jindra12
#respect and thanks#

MiXed

There is this feeling u get out of tears,
a smile, warming up ur heart,
Like the tears of happiness
Or the feeling of hope in ur worst times.
In reality,
All I felt wuz a simulation
I yearn to feel such a relationship, know such a person, or go thru such emotion.
Jus to know how human it'd be to experience such....

the Core

In the center
of Echoes
preserved and pure
amidst the circular waves
of energy
and the vibrations
so fluid
nudged
inside the sphere
like vacuum
the dark radiance,
brightest solitude
and purity ..
lies, the Astral in vivo.
the Core.

Wake ..

Today meant a Monument.
A Beginning.
Left with an epitaph now,
Each memory shattered,
and sprawled in gravestones..
etched in my continual walks
in the nightmares
of this endless cemetery..

Blink

The bright summer noon simmers down a shade
melting heat nudged by the evenin breeze
warm sunset colors, they palette the sky
how long, does a phase lasts..
scares me.
i hold tight.
check the locks holding up.
thump the door on ma heart a knock and two.
feelin stupid, a chuckle builds up.
then, content and warmth give me the calm,
there.
by the fathom and knot,
by each layer sliced in time,
every folded memory crisp,
in moments, lies safe.

makes you think why,
why we have dem.
makes you burn. writhe in pain.
smile. feel childish.
makes you want an eraser to redo.
makes you wanna better.
rewind.
like havin an answer, tryin to make the questions for.
mystic.
truly. its jus bull.
i wish i didnt have em.
they remind.
imagine, mind playin a track.
jus a click away.
what in the heavens name,
wud do that, i ask..?
Blink.
whole world of reality in front of me
and each memory a blink away.
the longer i see the darkness of nothin real,
with my eyes closed,
the longer i find myself in archives with them.
in dreams..
no wonder i have insomnia..
hmm.. always hated libraries.
but ..
safely locked in.
they're with me. always.
they're all i have, left.
mine and mine alone.
my breadcrumbs to trace..

.. in the bloom, a ..

Soar on the branch and expanse,
My Bloom,
Soak in the Drop of clear rain,
and as the dew come caress,
let pretty, your petals remain
i know not the connection,
between you and me,
the reason why or how,
i know less of the light
be sunshine, your smile, a jewel,
or the freedom of the wind
to ponder and Question,
neither the flutter of the wings
nor the appreciative eye..
i was jus the standin ground,
and not in my wish,
i see today..
but this i know,
if, fall you must or be gone.
in the darkness of this life confine
i'll hold close, these roots mine.
for the beauty of the world
hope, i see you define..