V™ ۞ tHe SaaĐĦu

MiXed

2011-06-10T23:19:00.000+05:30

There is this feeling u get out of tears,
a smile, warming up ur heart,
Like the tears of happiness
Or the feeling of hope in ur worst times.
In reality,
All I felt wuz a simulation
I yearn to feel such a relationship, know such a person, or go thru such emotion.
Jus to know how human it'd be to experience such....

the Core

2010-06-25T03:02:00.011+05:30

In the center
of Echoes
preserved and pure
amidst the circular waves
of energy
and the vibrations
so fluid
nudged
inside the sphere
like vacuum
the dark radiance,
brightest solitude
and purity ..
lies, the Astral in vivo.
the Core.

Wake ..

2010-05-03T18:23:00.004+05:30

Today meant a Monument.
A Beginning.
Left with an epitaph now,
Each memory shattered,
and sprawled in gravestones..
etched in my continual walks
in the nightmares
of this endless cemetery..

Blink

2010-05-03T18:04:00.009+05:30

The bright summer noon simmers down a shade
melting heat nudged by the evenin breeze
warm sunset colors, they palette the sky
how long, does a phase lasts..
scares me.
i hold tight.
check the locks holding up.
thump the door on ma heart a knock and two.
feelin stupid, a chuckle builds up.
then, content and warmth give me the calm,
there.
by the fathom and knot,
by each layer sliced in time,
every folded memory crisp,
in moments, lies safe.

makes you think why,
why we have dem.
makes you burn. writhe in pain.
smile. feel childish.
makes you want an eraser to redo.
makes you wanna better.
rewind.
like havin an answer, tryin to make the questions for.
mystic.
truly. its jus bull.
i wish i didnt have em.
they remind.
imagine, mind playin a track.
jus a click away.
what in the heavens name,
wud do that, i ask..?
Blink.
whole world of reality in front of me
and each memory a blink away.
the longer i see the darkness of nothin real,
with my eyes closed,
the longer i find myself in archives with them.
in dreams..
no wonder i have insomnia..
hmm.. always hated libraries.
but ..
safely locked in.
they're with me. always.
they're all i have, left.
mine and mine alone.
my breadcrumbs to trace..

.. in the bloom, a ..

2010-02-23T22:46:00.019+05:30

Soar on the branch and expanse,
My Bloom,
Soak in the Drop of clear rain,
and as the dew come caress,
let pretty, your petals remain
i know not the connection,
between you and me,
the reason why or how,
i know less of the light
be sunshine, your smile, a jewel,
or the freedom of the wind
to ponder and Question,
neither the flutter of the wings
nor the appreciative eye..
i was jus the standin ground,
and not in my wish,
i see today..
but this i know,
if, fall you must or be gone.
in the darkness of this life confine
i'll hold close, these roots mine.
for the beauty of the world
hope, i see you define..

Live now. Lets .. =)

2010-01-17T01:16:00.006+05:30

Every post i wrote when i woke up in the spontaneity, has been an experience,
every dream i lived, seen and felt.
But dreams are Visions, the paradox of ourselves in a parallel thought,
and some, are as real as the senses. Blues,
in the wakeful.
Exaggerated experiences heightened by memories and the bundled emotions.
Today i felt 'em build up.
Breakin me.
Life bein drained by the moment.
It feels worse than someone squeeze out your soul.
The torment, a breathless drowning,
a Quick calculation to swerve the crash,
free falling..
flash of a Loved one,
thought of one thing you missed to do,
last words. a Prayer.
a blackhole that sucks you in..
Helplessness. The inevitable.
p'haps a smile to balance.. the good.
before you know. before you think.
its over.
reality. life. thought. dream. experience.
Dead end. and knowing it IS.
is so bad. and so sad..
there is Nothing contentful abt passin away.

I Felt a Part of me leave.
Out of Body Experiences. and they're so revealing abt Life.
its NOT, and nothing, that you can predict, want or plan.
so Fluid. and yet so Precious. to you and only YOU.
No one wud ever know wut it felt like.
its like a whole life spent bein a person. and all it comes to, is this.
when you know its a dead end.. and therz nuthin you can do.

It took me much. some tom and jerry,
warm shower. clear sky. a jolly drink.
some music, writing this post,
to know and awaken my senses that,
i still can feel.... Belong. somewhere.

Life seems so fragile all of a sudden. and the bonds, precious.
people we meet. deeds done. Pictures taken. smiles. tears. occasions. Life.
every moment seems a canvas blanc..

Life is Beautiful.
and we're neither Livin the moment again,
nor the opportunity to re-live.
Live now.
Lets ..
=)

We're made of Brush strokes

2009-11-15T13:09:00.006+05:30

sometimes i wonder why relations get complicated.
is it cuz of the differences in thought, our personlalities,
the hardwired beliefs we're rooted to,
or is it because of the person we are all individually made of.
how many people can we connect with in our life.
and how many of those do we choose to cherish.

Every person is undeniably made of good an bad.
the conflict of God an his Villian is IN us.
do we fear the God and accept the qualities that are conventionally classified as morally just,
or do we fear and repel the shades of darkness that people have come to hate.
bottom line is we all have our pros an cons. each an everyone.
the efforts we put in to be Aware of who we really are,
the operating system we run on, bugs, crashes and Inborn boot errors.
To feel complete.
we have no answers.
we live in fear of mistakes and Karma.
we seek acknowledgement and acceptance.
To ourselves and the ones we're connected to.
These brush strokes make us. Our traits.
they make everyone around us, whom we adorn with privilege of Love and giving.
as and by the Color of a person shifts a shade from Bright to Dark.

Life's an intricate painting, and it always is in the whole frame.
neither in the beautiful highlights of bright pros,
nor the emphasizin, shaded, dark, cons.
In a kids crayon scrawl, or da vinci.
In the end its us who define wut we are to Others
and who others are to Us.
the beauty and essence of a person
lies in the whole Picture.

Livin the Split

2009-10-19T15:30:00.007+05:30

Everyday
Every moment.
we wake to the new
the unknown,
no matter wut we know.
wut we do.
it neither follows the Vector of Effort
nor preceeds the Expected.
Space.

Its like pushin your ability
in that jump to reach the ledge.
you Fly.
reach an Try.
so close you touch.
but ...
where does your mind take you.
that you came so close.
or that you missed.
Split.

life's always a Choice.
it dont matter wut happened or the next.
the Choice is still for us to make.

In This Emptiness

2009-09-10T20:19:00.006+05:30

Life seems distant now
wut hapnd, i wonder how
everyday in seconds i Live
with nuthin left in me to give
what remains o me
dont know, cant see
this pain, this misery hurts much
cant explain. cant take.
how do i endure such.
my thots echo in the hollows
excrutiating wrench that follows
feeling the numb i sink
in every split o the blink

where art thou i ask
to find you behind the mask
But, yer here within me
this i close my eyes to see
in this emptiness.

Love thee..

2009-08-07T19:14:00.004+05:30

To be in thy embrace of care
when i feel weak
to feel thy support
wen i hold thee
to forget Pain forever
cuz i know thou cure
to forget the burden
cuz thee wud share
to move ahead an better
in thine motivation
not know wut need is
for ye complete me
to learn life and its meaning
in thine guidance
to forget myself
for thee know me
to Love a lifetime.
with thee, Beloved,
I'm in Love..

image courtesy : Mikej. thank you.

The Architect

2009-08-07T10:22:00.005+05:30

I've walked through many a city. the tattered jacket i wear tells me. i carry no guns but a box with pencils and measuring tools. I've been runnin from present and the future. a Nomad. My job was to help people build shelters with resources they could afford. safe houses. thats what they called them. Safe from the Hell.. the burning earth herself.

There have been so many. so many an incident covered in Ash and destruction. the forces were against us survivors. Darwin wud be proud. the humans were considered the most successful beings in Evolution. survival of the fittest. I am jus a facilitator. Just an Architect.

My M.O. was simple and fast. Get a trench underground or a leftout sewage core or a dam and fortify with lead and steel lined mortar. provide Air and water recycling systems and Storage. For this i'd be given food and place to stay till my work was done. wen i am done. I'd be gone.

So much they speak abt the forces and wut they've done to us all. They were a nightmare of a story to listen to. There were very few who've seen the wrath and survived. and they Spoke of it as Hell chasing their life.

This time. I've been working inside an abandoned Mine. it was trecherous to get the generators runnin. we went old skool and took the concepts of the Oldest trains. Used coal to power up. these folk have been helpful by the smallest deed and involvement. It was their only hope. Everyday I worked my life out. It was not easy. We were in the Gut of a Hill. Being an Architect I had studied civilizations and cult work. The Free Masons, their concept was to make a way in and to make another way out. Prevention of cave in scenarios. Heck Even Pyramids have them. feels like an Irony. Everythin had a Glory to it. and we, are barely Alive.

The Safe House is almost done. and i cant wipe out this vibe off my head. it was a Dead End. somethin abt this place meant forever. like it was my destination. And this time, i know the time has come. My Intuition has been tingling like the spider sense. I regroup the pack, have every morsel and drop, of food and water, possible seeds for plantations saved. routine. Let them speak of Love for eachother. and the night spent in Joy, music and a few drinks. we share affection of workin together.

It was Close to dawn. I see children snuggled close in deep sleep, their innocence glowing warm. Everyone had this sense of being safe. For all the nightmares of Stories that were spoken of seeing Hell. I knew it was My time. I Leave the place, securing every hatch, every door. a long walk out scoping out the random vents, i reach out. it was cold. and it was close to the hilltop. i drag my boots up there and light a smoke. looking in the horizon to watch the sunrise. the sky starts to glow.

Thats when i See. a Ray. a trajectory burnin its way through the sky. When it hit the ground. it was like a quake. I take a deep drag and smile. the fire ball across glows the deepest red an turns into a mushroom cloud. from here i see every tree and inch o land burn. and i see it tear thru everythin between. the Hell. which i wud see .. this Nuke..

I jus wake up..

Feed Some Cute Fishies =)

2009-06-25T17:22:00.003+05:30

I've always found a school o Fish to be most playful..
so much so watchin them play wud make me forget the issues bothering me.
Feng-shui places them o high regard as in takin away the negative energies even.

Anyway. after quite some contemplation, i've decided to pimp this blog a bit.
an if ya'll comin here to spend a few mins to read these posts.
plz , Do feed my fish.

you'll find dem upon scrollin down to the bottom of this page ..
have Fun.

the Happiness in Giving

2009-06-20T23:30:00.002+05:30

A busy day ended by noon, I checked my watch and eased my mind about the weekend ahead. I thot about the li'l coffy shop that refreshed my after work mood with its divine aroma. Having time to spare, it was an obvious pullover. There was Caffeinated Joy in the air. I made my pick and turned to walk out with wut i knew was killer cappuccino.

A woman was tryin to shuffle between her shopping bags loaded hands to open the door. And instinctively I offered. As i reached to twist the knob. Somethin stopped. I guess it was time. it was a face I didnt wanna see, not atleast through the glass of the door. I wudnt forget. In that split second I spent in confusion and contemplating a scorn. She smiled. That familiar cheer written over her face. Speechless, I opened the door. In the Conversation which I kept simple she made me hold the shoppin bags and picked a coffy. the gifts and big shopping implied she played Santa Claus as always to orphan kids. that was her. a coffy, a smile and all heart.

Next thing I know I was helping her lug out of the car. There was quite a gathering of people. A few camps set seperately kids were being given necessities from Lunch, books, even blankets. She walked me through the camps and i met the guys who had volunteered. a person walked up to me and greeted me. The khadi kurta and nonchalant serenity to his persona gave him a fatherly appearance. Over the small tour i took along with him. I saw, how she was playin wid the kids, so much happiness in giving to them. She caught me admiring her an replied with a modest smile. I felt like a programmed robot with my life, work, and the digital watch. For God's sake I spent time checkin pulse and counting seconds. I envied her freedom to break the normalcy an the mundane.

She offers to walk me back to the car. She talks abt me. Much of the conversation was in her questions and smiles and my silence. She knows me in and out. Still. Like she took out of my silence, answers. I feel transparent. She ruffles my hair, just like she used to.. it was how she took care of me through. a thousand thots come to my mind. i felt how she shielded me from everythin. like my own predicaments. I felt the comfort of bein with someone who I knew wud care and took happiness in selfless Giving.

As we came closer to the car. she stopped said 'I missed you' ..
Even after my choices, the past, the time gone, even in my silence now. She could say that.. I didnt have an answer.
Just my silence.

wen i opened my eyes...

[img courtesy: Hermeti. with thanx]

I See You ..

2009-05-24T15:46:00.002+05:30

i see you..
takin those small steps
in the room yours
closed doors an windows open.

i see you smile to yourself
in your space..
lookin into the world
you call your own..

moments pass..
an the smile fades..
the charm and beauty drawn
an so is the radiance.
i feel the past touch your eyes
an rollin down in tears..
you pull yourself back
conceal.
feel.

i see love in your eyes..
deeper than depth
submerged so much
you wudnt want it to show.
your brows draw closer
p'haps, reasons get louder.
time alternates in your eyes
in our moments memorable..
an the ones spent in pain

My Love i see you.

i feel every breath of you
drawn deep in wutz left.
the agony trapped.
the improbability o my faith
i see your fingers entwine
for the impending day ..
i see your feet tap
in restless of the today left.
every emotion distinct.
i see you..

i feel the cold on my fingers
from the touch of glass
i see you..

on the other side.
of this One way mirror.

In every shade dark
of wut i see from here
i see myself.
for i see myself in the darkness
that i left in you.
we may be on the sides
of the one way mirror, my Love.
but i see you ..
an more so wut i've been to you.

my every day is you
so is my thot.
everymoment with you
you dont know.. do you.

i feel this. i know.
wut keeps far, you an me.
i do.
a fabric o seperation it might be.
but its given me an opportunity
to learn an better myself
without a reflection dark..
that i have to see over you.

My Love will be blessed
as i know is my faith..

cuz, My Love.
i see you..
together wid me..
for the rest o my life thru..

Arrivederci My Love

2009-03-27T19:31:00.002+05:30

I'm Out of thoughts to think
I'm Out of thinz to do..
Thru this Pain so Excrutiating.
I cant Fight for You

I've Loved You all my Heart
I've always stood my part..
in the worst of the times..
in this Lonely struggle..
you tore my Heart apart

In Booze i find my Zen
I wudnt want you involved in
Thru these moments and ties weak
I ask you to find wut you seek
to find your smile i want you to
cuz its with me no more..
But remember our moments sweet
of You this, i Implore.
Arrivederci. My Love.

Turn me Mortal..

2009-03-19T10:07:00.001+05:30

For all the fascination i've seen
for the passion that i've felt within
its not jus the taste of blood
but the passion that i feel for Red

it ignites all that in me called Rage
trapped inside this flesh a cage
i seek the neck, to my teeth i feel
cold and a mimic of the silken steel

need of the moment in me
the animal inside i want you to see
for this is a moment split
you shud run before you're bit

the Lips so scarlet, they shiver
mane of your hair flow like a River
the eyes so piercing, at me they stare
the face of an angel, not a hint of scare
oh woman trust me you must not
for a moster inside i am
your skin so pure
an heart o gold
of this i am so sure
my curse you will unfold

set me free
an i promise thee
a life of a mortal will i spend
in your arms
and in your Love
my sin and deed so dire i shall end

Love me
my Angel ..
for my Blood so cold
an heart so dead
of Life and Love
... i need to be told

Its you,i want to be my Start
from you i'd die bein apart
its you who wud, my life, Define
its you .. i want to be Mine

Kiss me and make me a mortal
rid me of this inner beast..
give my body a soul, a key
Livin this Life i'd consider eternity
for i Love thee.
My Woman.
its jus you..
..who Makes me Human.

Eternal..

2009-03-12T22:29:00.001+05:30

In simplicity of Want.
for the want of Livin..
in Living this life an standing up to it..
and Standing up to Love.

from wut means my name
to a person outdated i became
yet, wut i care is abt you
beyond time, this..
is wut I'll always do.

My Love was neither abt sayings great
nor steered by the choices made
I believe in my efforts to turn fate
this, my stance, wud never fade.

Whatever Life my Dream Shows
never be touched by remorse
for not seein dem happen.
an Utopia of hope, Lived and built.
now a broken dream..
.. of helplessness an Guilt.

Neither can i drown in booze
nor bein high can i numb my pain
my deed is not for me to choose
to give you all i can.
.. in wut has of me remain

My Love,
is not in minutes,hours or time bent
but in the moments spent
aint in the passing seasons four
but in to beyond from before
not in the females lookin so fine
but in the heart o woman who is mine
the distance that makes us far or close
the memories few, i live in those
i can be only so much. so much i can take
the nightmare I've been to you
from that i wud never awake.

Déjà Vu

2008-09-15T03:33:00.002+05:30

He walks faster,feeling much fit to walk at an age pushing 60, reaches a few feet ahead and turns around to look at the woman he chose to spend his life with.. walking slowly. Her every step in the gait that makes him feel like he is blessed to have walked his life through with her. Its as if her composure, calm and confidence come as a part of her existance, an earth sign herself. so graceful.
He feels his heart beat faster, flushin a sense of immense attraction, still feeling vulnerable to. She notices his glance kiss her aura.She does the same gesture of running her fingers in her tresses. He feels his heart skip a beat.
There.
That was the Moment.
After six years and a lifetime of eager.
This was the Exact moment he fell in Love. with her presence.HER.
The first time he saw her..

Jus the way he had taken those few steps ahead. to look at her a hearts fill. jus the way she ran her fingers in her tresses. moments turned to time and time passed by. Lived.

Jus as he was thinkin ..déjà vu.
She walks closer to him extends her arm. her fingers still slide into his, jus as the time they held hands first. the same smile, promising love, curves her lips.
feels like a lifetime lived.
All those moments of happiness that they waited for after every fight have been lived. every bad memory, argued about, won, lost and forgotten.
All that remained was the warmth of pullin her closer. No malice impending. No patience survived. No bad memory remembered. Love. thats all that was.
He chuckles . she Understands his mockery was abt the stupidity they shared more than their Love. She remembers their Love anthem. it was jus one line.
"We'll never have a last day together" he'd said.
and then,
She kisses his cheek.

now THAT. didnt happen wen he First saw her. He smiles ..:)

Negative Reality

2008-08-24T14:35:00.000+05:30

Its not these steps i've walked through
for their depth weighs me down
makes me wonder, if all they made of me
is a burden to myelf or did they make of me
the person to me that i've known.

I dont wanna close my eyes.
dont want these dreams of unseen
for they make me weak.
I dont wanna close my eyes.
and be Haunted by the nightmares of the known
its in the beyond i seek
cant hold back.
my eyes go shut. helplessness so dark.
i see white sky an Black stars.
into the endless i fall
of a Negative Reality.

Day 2 ,Team Work

2008-08-22T20:36:00.000+05:30

For all the planning and the execution that was put into in outlining even the details we cud imagine, it turned out, my estimate stood no chance. The most striking hit was the Freeze temperatures.Though we were wrapped in wool, the nights wud engulf us with the chill in the air around, all the more a reason for us to Find nooks an corners an slices o time to sneak out an have a smoke. it was much more fun listenin to KC cuss :) abt the no-smokin rules .

The mornin was all sketched out. a jog for a warm up.few stretch-ercises. unpatables fer breakfast. and we were to get a teaser of the trek and the climb. it was indeed a small climb uphill. but well laid a track with a few steep enough patches. i think the whole team o 12 somehow came to an understanding of watchin each others back.

Team work. thats wut the day was for us all. We underwent formal introduction sessions an mutual appreciation.As a human trait from ages we elected our team leader, Hetal, who was able an a really sweet girl. easygoing and alert. Quite analogous to the Class Monitor who wud write my name on the black board,all my school life.

Upon us was the task of Entertaining the camp later that night. I really wished and genuinely put forth my worthy exemption.didnt work. does anythin ever?. so there were many an idea an we all zeroed in a Spoof of the Entire Trek. and a national integration retro track in all possible indian tongue, which we all still keep chantin during our nightmares.for it scarred our childhood enuf being played all over DD channels.

End of the day,somehow the camp really was fun.
examples : winners
a.the most insanely trippy "camp fire" which was a a psychedelic assortion of electric lights. in a frenzy color vibe.
b.the warm bournvita
c.the Wierd teddy/disney/bunny shaped trash cans which undeniably looked like either they were gettin humped.or being humped.
d.KC's GIRL. she was this buxom bomb. we all instantly agreed that she was for KC and KC alone.(he was the first to say shez mine.One must understand why!!! :P)
e.sneakin out to the loo late night for a smoke makin phony smoke in the chills :P
:)..

Pritam Singh, and Meat for teeth

2008-06-04T14:14:00.000+05:30

FOr all good reasons that drive me to it, I am a 'very' Non-Vegetarian person. There is somethin abt "meat under the teeth" which my appetite strictly adheres to.

Babeli Base camp provided us wid some cooked edibles which were distinctly devoid of chicken. Ben an I both of us were extremely disappointed and decide not to give up. Group in KC and we head out fer a stroll hoping to have a decent meal. turns out not one of the dhabas there serve non-veg food. Fact was not jus disappointing but very disheartening. nevertheless we wud not give up an we take our walk farther, jus so we might as well scope out our surrounding area.

The white waters runnin beside the road, of the river Beas were so vibrant and energetic.In every curve the rapids grew stronger.everythin abt himachal it seemed, had its own charm to it.

We Passed by a souvenir place filled wid crafted decoratives. petty but handicrafted. We get to see how Shawls, the famous woolen wraps, were woven. they literally thread their livelihood.

We stalled our walk fer some fruit extract juice. tangy and refreshing, plus, we had an additional entertainment to watch a playful school of fish in a pool.with our drink done we take back to steps an passed over this gruesomely horrific 'dragon' carved from driftwood by a Baba.A middle aged dude dressed in long orange clothes. not jus that, he had a whole collection of his psychotic-art. There was no doubt that the stubb in his mouth was a joint. too bad we cudnt score. dat dude was definately havin a bad trip.

Before we got outta that scare, hunger panged in our stomachs. We questioned the locals one and too many if we cud find some place to have a decent meat meal. The roads curved to emptiness and disappontment. our last hope walked by to us downhill. An Elderly chap who seemed to be quite amused by 3 stooges craving for chicken. He lets a chuckle after another and leads us to a place where he claimed, a meal of our choice cud be arranged.and so it was.At his very Own Dhaba.we Had to buy some freshly skinned chicken and get it cooked.Jaggu the cook made the wait worthwile. We diced the time with some Splendid tea and the leisure of lighting up. before a few tunes from bollywood ended from the player in shack, the food was ready.

Ben KC an I were Never so hungry for chicken. the crave built up a scrumptuous appetite. and the meal was absolutely delicious. Atlast we found our Sneak out non veg snack shack.

Pritam Singh da Dhaba.

First Sight of Himalayas and Babeli Base camp

2008-06-04T02:18:00.000+05:30

The life I've had, everyday, has been as if it were to bring to me somethin new. The night after we flew in the Millenium falcon I saw the most stunning an commanding form of nature, the mountains of the Himalayas. Waking up to a scenery like that can make that mornin a memory for the rest of your life.

I woke up neither to the noise inside the bus nor the cool change in weather. It was the swing. we were swinging accordingly to the curves of the snaking mountain inclines of the road in Himachal.

The routes were playfully beautiful wid an occasional peek at the snow covered Himalayas, everytime we were hurled to the outer roads. Flanked by the river waters which seemed to have reached their calm. the cool breezes got cooler and we decide to jacket ourself some warmth. we realise we were gettin into wut will be our skin fer the entire trek.

We traveled over Kullu and watched the place. Mongers and keepers startin up their day settin up their shops. Their everyday welcomes our first day in Himachal.

We got offboard the falcon a furlong before the base camp and took steps ahead.we walk the roads feeling the breeze so cold.the running waters of river Beas beside us.

The base camp of Babeli was set bang in the middle of the most amazing of the locale.A humble place wid hospitable team and tents fer accomodation. We were welcomed by Lathika ma'm who took us in an got our registration done. Ben and I, we took an instant liking to her. A smile so warm an sweet. Ma'm added care to the camp. somethin that made us very comfortable to the 'adventure camp'.Babeli Camp had adequate facilities of Chilled water fer wash and whatsoever, the tents givin us the Camping feel and people from various parts of India sprawled in unision.

The best of the friends are made in an instance of introduction. And so it hapnd, we met Karthik Chandra whom i affectionately decide to call KC. He added the eastern dimension to Fellowship. Hailing from Puri, working at Delhi, he had remarkable skills in Photography. He was Adventure chaser, lone trekker, a runaway from the mundane and we knew he'd stand by us. We found our homey. little did we know our bonding wud last not just throughout the trek, but forever.

We dock. and let our baggage sleep its tire, for they'd been on our backs so heavy an so long. The Team added up wid us.Meeting Mr.Agarkar whose Deep motivation to achieve the summit along with Mr.Sanjay 'sanju baba' aggarwal.

We needed more paraphernalia than we thot we must, so we head out to Kullu. The town itself was humble and the little bauble of an offering from the towners was their buisiness. We explore the town carefully treading our way thru really huge cows, their unavoidable dung patches and petty bridges. our walk through the market was uphill and enlivened the adaptive life of the locals to the altitude. Me an Ben we scoped out the area in search of the restaurants. the locals are really friendly loving and offer affection first and then their sale. certainly a pleasant deal.

We enjoy the bus ride to and back from Kullu thoroughly enjoyin both. We reach the Camp to be late for the lunch. A Very disappointing lesson learnt. Though we were given some grub in our plates to hog, it was horrifically indistinguishable as to What it was ?. Ben and I jest as to wut cud it be. potatoes. dal. rice. sweetdish. porridge. take a 3 course meal with salad and works,blend and serve. Taste wuz luxury. Its not our metro food habits. its was jus bad. but it WAS food. so we beg our tongues an apology and feed our stomachs. We were so Numb after that. i guess we forgot to complain anymore. if I Do complain later. it was really, really BAD food.

The evening was pleasant. We learn to value sunlight. and our warm wear. The tea added to the get togethers. the company of people and team mates was sweet enuf for us to gulp the hot-water-wid-sugar. the fade-in of the night was fast an dark. a Brightly lit Camp proudly presented us wid the Custom of "Camp Fire". A Long lost ritual of entertainment by the team which was a day old at the camp. frankly it was Quite entertaining. the welcome was warm and appreciable along with a heartful Cheer to the team that was to start their endeavour. Dinner was painfully palatable. but we got to drown that with some warm Bourn (?!!@#$). we head back to our tents warm our blankets and rest.

First base camp.Check.

The Millenium Falcon, the Wookie and Han.

2008-05-29T20:25:00.000+05:30

Ponder a while about how Luke an Obiwan had to get dem selves a ride to their destination.I bet you got nuthin close to experiencing wut we did. we experienced the Haryana Transport.

Between all the chaos at ISBT, we meet the Wookie,a conduction machine, who vocally dominated the lot to gain our trust. Forced to buy the tickets to the bus ride at 365 rupees, initial look of the Millenium Falcon was quite disappointing.A rabid bus. Barely any room fer a person. we had to tuck our lug under the seats. Half an hour in time passed wid people swarming the seats an taking every nook of breathing space left in the bus. though tired we were kept awake by the Wookie's war cries. damn dat guy can scream.

The Bus ride was giving us a certain enthusiam which lasted till the city outskirts. we were lost in our conversartions wen we realised how the vehicles on the road were whooshing behind. OK.??!??!!! so the millenium falcon had some power. an then we heard the silence inside the bus. we were goin fast, really really fast. the point came when a Volvo Bus we saw ahead, joined the particles of dust behind us. we needed seat belts. but all we got was to see that one moment. Drivin the bus was han an Wookie both on either front corners of the bus an the empty road between. this was gonna be a joy ride till the morning. every objected that moved on the road wud be fried in the trails left .. In Warp Speed. !!

In between all this i realise this night i'd sleep to wake up an see somethin i've never seen in ma life. Snow covered peaks Of the Himalayas :)

Day,1 and 2 Delhi.

2008-05-28T23:28:00.000+05:30

First day in Delhi.. we take to the roads. the conditioned air in the car does little to the heat fryin us. The traffic, clearly had the effect of the Sunday. Our drive leads us to the city walk mall. The level of organisation and infrastructure truly amazed me through out. Malls, i guess, are frequented by the loaded here.the stash in da stores' all designer. Lunch at the food court was massively invaved by tomato and da unpalatable.was really glad i got to eat some chicken.

One of the most amazing thinz dat hapnd was Me an Pre gettin to watch Iron man. Its Definately preserved the attitude of the comics. the CGA were Fantastic an Put across Tony stark jus Right. If you are as deep into comics as i am, the last thing you wanna see is Dis respectful movie abt a superhero you grew up reading. Frankly i really enjoyed the movie :) you must watch.

If you are around Delhi and are at Saket PVR, you must visit the place, Buzz. Beer or a coupla drinks are enjoyable wid the lounge music playin. jus right to keep you light an have a conversation too. i figured therz a McD around every other street in Delhi. like they wud never let you die of hunger atleast.

For my return i chose taking a rikshaw. Ali the riskhaw driver got me to the guest house through most of the calm in delhi. A very friendly chap, probably drunk on a desi (daru) before he gets home to his family of wife an two kids.During our conversation over the fare of 60 bux, he decides to throw in a bonus.He jumps a red signal an hits da breaks bang right inna middle of the road,an says yeh dekho sahab. i see the India Gate Standin tall .In the darkness of the midnight ,even without the artificial luminence, it shone full of pride in the moonlight.Reflexively i get out of the rik and jus stare the empty roads. My day was made. Felt like i saw all of Delhi.

Pandey, the caretaker, sounded glad i made it back to the guesthouse. it freaked the shit outta me. He offers me chilled water and the match to light up.. we smoke in the warm summer night.. the night is refreshing and i enjoy the drop in temp.

i sleep heavy an rest my day.

I wake up an start my day to chilled minty flavoured water in her car. we drive to connaught place. Mother of all capitals. The place is a hive with people bee-ing in vibrance an energy. the coffy I sip charged me for the day. we walked through the hustle an commotion. A part of my head wass constantly buzzin that i am an evening away from the himalayas. We pass over the madras cafe and over a hundred shops tendin satisfaction in the range of offerings. from
trinkets to brands. from a supersized glass o lassi to talentful art being sold on footpaths. seemed like there was this perfect balance in the pains taken to present somethin with a price tag and the happiness in buying it.

I chose to end my lunch with coffy or tea, jus like any hyderabadi would.
evening came wid the darkness in the sky the city lit in brilliance. Ben called an the rendezvous was set at the Metro.

The time that followed i meet Ben Aka Caesar. respect and the times we shared stand strong, i realise, even after a year. we took a moment to pay mutual honor and shoot adrenaline.I still have no freakin Idea how we got past the security wid a coupla swiss army knives and pair o nun-chaks in our baggage. so, we enter the metro.

Its a Program. I was hoping to fight Agent smith der. no such luck tho. :P

Highly Organised an Very facilitationg. the Del Metro is one o the fastest an easiest means of transtport i've ever been thru. We ride to Kashmiere gate and take steps to ISBT. Felt like we were hurled between a pack o wild hungry wolves on leashes. each state had a base station of operation where they'd convince you to oblige. the mess was more evident than the noise around.

We went thru an episode which i claim,is not for the weak of heart or the metally challenged abt star wars.

I reach Delhi

2008-05-28T03:15:00.000+05:30

Last nigt was war. Desperation to sleep, 've to be up for the tomorrow and Insomnia. mother@#$%&! . this shit is more messed up than ever. Top that there was this Orphan passenger dude tryina sit in ma berth cuz aint got no where to go. As regulated an cool the temperature was inside the three tier a/c compartment, the scene was hilarious. Indian Transport :)

Spent almost twice the adrenaline waitin in eager. Fun part was the wait at New Delhi station. This porter, Hari ram, 15yrs in the station he spent portin the luggage of the passengers. I buy him tea while i buy myself some coffy. he accepts it humbly an decides to entertain me with information i needed.I strongly jest to myself that either he's bloody stoned, or its the stagnant pool of chaos at the station. He puts me at doubt by carryin my lug with effortless ease and unnecessary, protective Escort.

The New Delhi staion made me claustrophic. its so fuckin hot an sunny outside. I contemplate goin under my shades.

I reach my Guesthouse and meet Pandey the care taker and his wife. both of whom took down their extremely hostile faces and started smiling back after knowin the fact that I'm a doctor. he showed me around while i offer him a couple of smokes. he saves one for later and lit one up. he gets me this sweet tea his wife prepared and made sure I was comfortable.

His Delhi accent of hindi is unfailing and sweet. just like Lassi.
Wut the fuck is it so hot around here anyway

People are basically nice. an good. I begin to love Delhi already :)

Beginning at Home..

2008-05-28T02:44:00.000+05:30

Last night was never-ending. Felt like time took to Slow-Mo. Packing done (?) and now the wait seems longer than ever.

Force calls.
Did'nt sleep all night.

Chasing an adventure begins at home, amidst the chaos, turmoil an super charged wakeful. There seems to be an undeniable emotional crux. Mom's love an responsibility of dad. the ties that bind are jus way to many if i go on. But, familial ties seemed thinner an lower to convince an cross over. i jus realised emotions are stupid now. so is excess luggage.

The roads are empty paving open an inviting. there is much, i tell myself. feeling 'on time' gives me the confidence of being prepared.

The Train starts an feels like a moster power vehicle tugging me out of the bonds that ground me.I look out of the window, Have the music to my ears. the Charge of energy inside me so evidently difficult to contain.

Both the need to calm and Boredom takeover with the hours passing. i go jolly smoke this one joint i rolled in the restroom. such stash feels so light after ages. i try hard not to sink in the surroundings of the indian trains. i smoke drag after another waiting for the high. i feel time slow down to bullet timing an realise i am Baked.

Music is divine. Electronic Psy. am glad they omit the vocals. sometimes i wonder if its necessary to know wut the guy is tryin to put across. all that matters is the sound to take you to another level of the conscious.
I float.
Through the comforting rockin of the train i sway.. now, have i started or am i experiencing the start...
Needless to say a 30hr time spent in the train is dominatingly boring.
Alone among many. Free. another jolly old man joins me in a smoke session.
kids running around. the families playin cards. the lunches an dinner being shared,offered.
People & Life. and I'm running away 'through' dem all.

Never would Love an Adventure draw another closer, as they draw me.

my start.

Journey to the Life source.

2008-05-28T02:00:00.000+05:30

Myth is that .. the whole of india had been turned to womb of life by the river Ganga.The place of her origin can only guide a jedi's mind to the life source.. to the HIMALAYAS.

Here i am trailin jus another day in my life. waking up to the mundane. workin at the hospital. takin that one smoke thiniking it'd be my last.restin in da cuddles of da warm bean.watchin die hard.. everything done is jus an echo of cliche.a repetitive time lock.. every deed a continuum till you realise the force. the call jus so strong, you cant help but respond in wild instinct..

knowledge and adventure, sometimes can knock you out of your slouchin acceptance to everyday. Jus the sheer energy it gives through is exhilarating. Wut hit me this time is this trek. The thirst to know, to be there, to see and feel the new air of freedom, experience wut more life has to offer, if i choose to explore. The path if i'd choose to take would be promising a destination to the life source.. and to this call, with all the adventurer in me, i shall answer..

this is where i begin.

Crayon Shin Chan

2008-04-28T03:12:00.000+05:30

Shin Chan.
Crayon shin chan.. the most adorable kid in da whole world.
i've been catchin up on da series since a while
an the simplicity on this particular japanese manga is jus sweeet !
he's witty, notorious an the cutest

He has an amazing family.
Mitzi, his mom. strict but Loving.
Harry, his dad. for whom family means his Happiness.
his bro/pet Sheero the dog :)
His friends.School.Everyday Issues make the Storyline.

i really like the episode wen his dog falls sick.
well not to mention each an every episode of the lot.
they are jus simply VERY entertaining i must say..
if yer da kind who loves kids..
you jus have to spend some time wid him :) ..

Why Do we SLeeP ?/?!

2008-04-28T02:49:00.000+05:30

Why do we Sleep.??!!?!!

When we can eat ..
to replenish energy for our physical need..
when we can defy the repeat..
deStress fatuigue of our deed
when we can find happiness in love..
and answer our emotions we cant contain
stop the question of how
in this reality should we choose.. to remain.

why sleep .?

when our mind remains active .. thinking, Dreaming..
why the detachment to senses.
Why are we so disconnected from the known
why fall unconscious ..
Why Dream..
why 'experience' somethin we have no idea about.

Are we really sleeping. ?

The Blind Seedling..

2007-10-03T22:56:00.000+05:30

Dancing on him the fire burns fast...
leaving him alone wid jus one thought
Chanting, like a heartbeat it goes on..
"what have i done ..oh god..
what have i done "

this is a story of a seedling there was once
who wanted to grow tall, who wanted no fence
what he was,.. he cudnt just hide..
about his anger or his penance

taller he grew wid caress of the sun..
much he could reach.. soaking in rain
enjoying his bloom every mornin and season
he grew beyond patience,grew beyond pain
he swayed in da occasional breeze..
boasted his pride,that he was not fer seize

time passed by..an he was basking in expanse
little did he remember about his love.his romance..
which made him who he was,nurturing love an care
he was blinded to what was always there

loving him fer eternity,wid no reason no cause..
wid each simple love filled GRANULE that she was

he cudnt realise how firm she held him..
by his roots. with forgiveness an Love
he cudnt realise how far he grew away,
from her bosom so warm..
where she treasured every moment they shared

why cudnt he see the future
where even fallen fruits wud grow
in his shade so grey..but in her womb of love

every dead leaf.. a memory so bad they had
that he'd let go..
but She wud sink them in herelf an treasure.

why cudnt he see his life
always grew inside her,a new root..
that she wud source life..
into every dying branch in his vast..

Much to his expanse an pride,
she still held on to support an Giving..
Blinded,.. to stand on her he tried..
clouded by want,attention an living..

A day came wen he felt suns Heat..
Parched for rain, He looked Beat..
Still he cudnt realise, On her LOVE he stood..
when he felt the Sharp edge of an Axe
For someone else.. he was jus firewood.

Severed off from her he lay..
no height seemed tall.broken,he starts to pray
stripped off his pride.. cuts wudnt bleed,wont pain..
hope he sprouts a humble self..on her bosom again :(
not another day that he sees..
without realising.. she means.. wut he is..

Dancing on him the fire burns fast..
leaving him alone wid jus one thought
Chanting, like a heartbeat it goes on..
"what have i done ..oh god..
what have i done "

Who AM i ??

2007-09-28T01:05:00.000+05:30

While i ponder upon the thoughts, that frame the boundaries of what i really am, i realise that my existance an thought are beyond explanation. What i am, turns out to be fresh, new and innovative just as a new day that dawns... so are my thoughts.. my beliefs an perception to life an how i see it .
what i have been throughout my years of life turns out blank ,dead, sometimes. jus like the black hole theory. where energy is sucked in.drained.lifeless.
what i have been throughout my years of life turns out i am one hella lucky guy..
may be.. explanations have nothing to do with it.
wut i've been through. wut i've seen..
this is my Blog.. from my eyes.. an MY soul..and the way I perceive life as Being ME.